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How does a person of faith deal with death everyday?
My novels always include faith based issues. I refuse to preach but the Message must be imbedded in my stories. With regard to my character, Dr. Jack Merchant, a radiologist who also consults with the coroner, how does a person of faith deal with death?
I see death every day. I’m not a medical examiner. I am a radiologist. I interpret imaging studies every day I work. On some days, I might go through up to 250 patients and their studies. While I don’t see a dead patient, at least rarely, I see the death sentence right in front of me on the study. It might be a lung cancer, or diffuse metastatic cancer throughout the body, or a large infiltrating tumor in a woman’s breast. It might be a dissection in the aorta (deadly if not treated immediately) or a massive hemorrhage in the brain with the blood devastating and destroying viable brain tissue. I might not see death at the moment. But I see it coming and often soon.
Early on in my training, I recall a young boy with multiple skull fractures. I was a student at that point and when I found out what had been done to this child to cause such damage, I almost quit medicine! Not only do I see impending death, I see the evil that lives in the hearts of all people.
How do I deal with these realities?
First, such horrific outcomes are rare. I would estimate about 10% of the cases I read every day have such a possible deadly outcome at that moment in time. There are LOTS of good news, hope, and treatable diseases. I thrive on these cases!
Second, my personal journey in my career in medicine began with a calling from God to enter the field of medicine. The story is too long for today’s post but perhaps one day I will share it. It has become a humbling experience to realize I may be the answer to someone’s prayer. I would never be in the position to help diagnose, and sometimes treat, patients as a radiologist if I had not heard and responded to the Call. This is foundational for me and continues to give me strength and endurance in the face of death.
Third, I do not take it home with me. I started out in internal medicine. In that field the pain and suffering were right in front of me in the flesh. With radiology, there is some separation. Finding this field, again because of God’s direction, led me to realize it fit my empathic personality much better. Nevertheless, I discovered Walt Disney World shortly after completing my internship in internal medicine. That internship year was the most dehumanizing, destructive experience of my life. Walking into the Magic Kingdom provided an enthralling and all encompassing escape from the daily walk among sick and dying patients. I needed that renewal. However, my strongest renewal occurs from my faith.
Being a hospital based physician, I cannot share my faith or be sanctioned for proselytizing. However, if a patient opens the door to their own personal faith, I walk through fully and enthusiastically. I live for such moments!
So, how about Dr. Jack Merchant? Is he a man of faith? How does he deal with death, not only in his practice, but as a consultant to the medical examiner? The answer to that question is the substance of his journey in the current stories and the stories to come. He starts out with a faint connection to the divine and must decide how deeply to commit himself to faith. Part of his journey through the valley of the shadow of death is story I will tell. Be patient. God is not finished with Jack yet!
Merchant of Justice — Have you been on a Jury?
Every person I have met has the same reaction when the dreaded jury summons letter arrives. Emotions border on hatred and homicidal urges. No one wants to serve on a jury! Cooped up in a room with thirteen other strangers (twelve jury members and two alternates) for possibly days and getting paid a pittance! And to top it off, we have no choice! It is the law! Unless, we can come up with a good reason not to be on a jury. Strategies abound on how to dodge jury duty.
However, recently, my efforts fell on deaf ears and I showed up for jury duty. Within hours of sitting in the dull, oppressive courtroom, I was called in the first twelve potential members of the jury. The next morning after hours of lectures on the process of a jury and a trial and the definitions of murder, I was seated on the jury.
I will never forget the first time I sat in the jury box and studied the “perp” or rather, the accused at the far end of a long table. The prosecution sat at the end of the table closest to the jury. The accused and his attorneys sat at the far end.
Clad in a flannel shirt and wearing black rimmed glasses, the man seemed like an ordinary person I might meet at Starbucks or find sitting behind me in a pew at church. He certainly didn’t look like a murderer. Looks can be deceiving. Skin cannot hide what dwells within the heart of man. See what I did there? I’m a writer!
The trial unfolded swiftly after we were seated. Heartbreaking testimony from the victim’s friends and family. Body camera footage from the police arriving just moments after the shooting. On day two, grim and disturbing photographs of the victim’s body from a pathologist with monotonal delivery. He was far too calm for the carnage exposed on the photographs. I’m a doctor and I found the photos very disturbing, nauseating, dehumanizing. I couldn’t begin to imagine what the other jurors were feeling.
Have you ever served on a jury? If so, have you been part of a murder tria? I had trouble sleeping for about a week after it was all said and done. It is one thing to read about such atrocities. It is another to see it laid out in real time before you while looking the murderer in the eyes!
When the guilty verdict was finally delivered and the courtroom was cleared of everyone but the jury and the judge, my first thought was what if the murderer’s family, friends, or cohorts came after us for this verdict? Were we safe? The patina of apparent safety had been stripped away like pain thinner on the bubbled surface of old wood! No one was safe if this seemingly calm, ordinary man had been capable of the macabre and gruesome murder. I can never look around me now without studying every individual, every movement, every possible intention. Safety is an illusion!
The judge assured us that in the thirty years he had presided over criminal cases, no jury member had every suffered from retribution.
I walked away from that experience a changed man. Here are my thoughts.
First, if I was ever accused of a crime, I would want a jury of reasonable, thinking, willing individuals to objectively assess the evidence against me. I wouldn’t want angry, anxious to be done, uncaring people. I know jury duty is a drag. But it is a necessary duty to keep our society from devolving into chaos.
Second, if I were asked to serve on a jury again, I would do it. Did it waste my time? Yes. Did I get reasonable recompense for my time? No! Was I inconvenienced? Yes. But considering that the victim lost her life and was deprived of a future with her grandchildren and friends, four days in a jury box is nothing! When we are chosen to be on a jury, we become the instruments of justice. Even unwillingly, it is a duty we should, albeit reluctantly, embrace.
Third, the experience taught me a lot about law and what really happens in a courtroom. What we see on television and the movie screen during a tense courtroom drama is NOTHING like experiencing it in real time. This man’s life was in OUR hand! We could with a cavalier attitude put the man away for life! Or we could release a monster out on the streets. At the same time, justice could only be served if we did our job objectively and willingly. The harsh reality of the choices we were called to make puts any fictional drama in its shadow.
Fourth, the experience provided me an opportunity to share with my readers. My second book about Jack Merchant was not intended to feature jury duty. I had another pathway chosen for Dr. Merchant. But circumstances in my practice group and events concerning members of my practice came dangerously close in real life to what I had intended in fiction. I had to back off and come up with another story. For now. My experience on a jury during a murder trail became the central story of “Merchant of Justice”.
So join Dr. Jack Merchant as he reluctantly becomes the “13th juror”.
Jonathan Steel, Where are you?
What’s Been Happening with Jonathan Steel?
It has been almost a year since I released the last Jonathan Steel book. So, what have I been doing?
First, I have semi-retired from my medical practice. I’m still working part time. This means more time to work on my writing as July 1st. Here are the projects I am working on:
Rewrite of “The 13th Demon”, “The 12th Demon”, and “The 11th Demon”.
That’s right! I am restoring all three books to their original, long story format. In my agreement with a major publisher, I had to make a LOT of concessions on all three books. Word count limitations forced me to make significant cuts to the first two books. And content restraint required me to make concessions on “The 11th Demon” which is STILL in the hands of Westbow Press!
Here’s what I have done. I have restored “The 13th Demon: Dark Covenant” and “The 12th Demon: Wolf Dragon” to their original length. I am still working on updating “The 11th Demon: Chimera”. Soon, the new versions of 13th and 12th will be available everywhere! Look for the new subtitles. I am hoping to get 11th out by the end of the year.
This has necessitated me holding back on the final two books in “The Chronicles of Jonathan Steel”.
Next Jonathan Steel Book
“The 2nd Demon: Tales of the Grimvox” will explore the backstories of Jonathan Steel, the Captain, Lucas, and a certain new character that emerged in the last book whose name I will not mention because “Spoilers Sweetie!”. It sets up the final confrontation between good and evil as Jonathan Steel must finally defeat the Council of Darkness and the Vitreomancers.
I am working on “The 2nd Demon” rough draft right now.
Next Jack Merchant book:
The response to my Jack Merchant Medical Mystery series has been phenomenal! I am shocked at how well the book, “Shadow Merchant” has been received. I am currently working on the second book in the series “Slice Fatigue”.
Jonathan Steel “spin off”:
If you’ve been reading my books, you have seen hints and suggestions of “The Node of God”. This will be a continuation of the story of the Children of the Bloodstone and will feature a trilogy. The first book is halfway done. World building takes time! Tentative title: “The Node of God: Darksyn Rising”.
Steel, P.I.
In the future, I will be launching a continuation of Jonathan Steel’s story as he moves into the job of a regular private investigator who doesn’t always have to face off with demons. Well, not always.
Non-Fiction books:
“The 5 Minute Atheist” is my personal story of a crisis of faith and my journey of recovery from that crisis through the discovery of Christian Apologetics.
And there are more books in the pipe.
BOOK FAIR!
NOW — If you live in the Shreveport/Bossier area, come see me and a lot of other excellent Christian authors at the upcoming “Wholesome Book Fair”. It will be held at Barksdale Baptist Church, 1714 Jimmie Davis Hwy, Bossier City, 71112 on Saturday, October 28th from 11 AM to 2 PM.

I will have ALL of my books available in print format and Ebook coupons for downloading from Bookfunnel.com. That’s right! You can purchase any of my books for only $2.50 as an ebook and download the book with a special code I will supply to ANY book reader. No need to fool with Kindle, or Apple Books, or Nook, etc. And this will be the ONLY way right now you can get all three updated, 13th, 12th AND 11th demon books!
I will also be featuring books by two other authors, Mark Sutton and Marcus Buckley. For more information on the books available check out hopeagainbooks.com.
I hope to see you THERE! I’d love to meet you!
What is a “Shadow Merchant”?
The emergency room doctor had become a thorn in my side. He was demanding. He was demeaning. He was defensive. It was obvious to me he had suffered a painful experience with radiologists in his past practice. Pleasing the man was almost impossible. Every interpretation I gave him was insufficient. I was taking too long to report his ER cases. I was too vague in my reports. I was wrong with my diagnoses. You name it, he never appreciated my hard work.
As a radiologist, I was used to this kind of treatment. I’ve been in the business for almost 40 years and recall how poorly we were regarded at the beginning of my practice. Times have changed and radiologists are integral partners in patient diagnosis and treatment and we are accepted as equals by our colleagues in other specialities.
But that was not the case years ago with this emergency room physician. He sat in my office while I was going over the findings of a CAT scan of a patient’s abdomen and pelvis. He told me he was leaving our hospital for another practice. I was ecstatic but didn’t show it. In a rare moment of honesty he looked at me and said, “You know, I practiced in a military hospital before I came here. The radiologist there was not that proficient. That’s not a commentary on the military. Just a commentary on the person. Your group has done a good job while I’ve been here and I wanted to thank you before I left.”
I was stunned and he shook my hand. He stood up and before he walked out the door he said, “You’re the best of the shadow merchants in your group.”
“Shadow merchants?” I asked.
“Yeah. That’s what we call radiologists in the military. Shadow merchants. You live in the shadows and make a living by interpreting shadows on your films. Shadow merchants.” He walked out.
There is a suggestion for authors, write what you know.
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