Category Archives: My Writing
Book Launch Countdown — Self Publishing? Really!?
My debut novel, “The 13th Demon: Altar of the Spiral Eye” is available this week and my launch party is Friday night, October 7th, 2011 from 6 to 8 P.M. at Brookwood Baptist Church (corner of I49 and Bert Kouns) in the Well, the coffee shop. I will be introducing the ink*well, a regional Christian artists’ community and speaking briefly on “One Book’s Journey: How to Get Published”. Those who purchase a book are entered into a drawing for one of the following: an Ipad2, a nook touch, and a Kindle WiFi. Coffee and snacks are complementary. You can take a look at the flyer by clicking on: bruce-flyer
So, six years passed between finishing “The 13th Demon” and seeing it arrive in book form. During that time, I had two different agents and that will be a story for tomorrow. Rejection after rejection after rejection. I’m used to rejection. It is my way of life. I am a radiologist and we are at the bottom of the food chain in medicine. Even though we are the doctors who tell your doctor what is wrong with you based on your CAT scan, MRI, Ultrasound, Xray, Mammogram, etc. we “don’t get no respect”. I remember a vascular surgeon once told me, “Listen here, boy. You are nothing more than a [expletive deleted] photographer and don’t you forget it!”
My first rejection came during high school and I have the letter signed by Ben Bova editor of Analog Science Fiction magazine. But, I believed in “The 13th Demon”. I would continue to fight on. After battling with my two agents, I went commando for a while, so to speak. I decided maybe it was time to self publish. In 2006, self publishing was a growing business but still lacked respect. The Kindle was out but no one had accomplished any success with self publishing on a Kindle.
I did my research and had to choose between iUniverse and Xlibris. iUniverse had this package that guaranteed my book would be on a shelf in every Barnes & Noble in the United States! I should have read between the lines!
I pulled the trigger in July, 2006 and sent in my finished manuscript. I hired my good friend, Jeremy Johnson to illustrate the cover. Jeremy had been drawing and illustrating since he was a boy and we had developed not only a great professional relationship but a lasting friendship. Jeremy’s works were outstanding. I wanted my cover to stand out on that front shelf at Barnes & Noble!
I should have known something was up when I got back the editorial evaluation. It was several pages long and had this concluding statement: “Your manuscript does not qualify for the Editor’s Choice award.” What did that mean? No shelf at Barnes & Noble! That was in the fine print I neglected to read. Not only that, I could guarantee the Editor’s Choice Award by hiring a book doctor for something like $6500! If I needed a book doctor, I needed to forget being an author!
I was so discouraged and upset. But, then something clicked looking at the editorial comments. When putting together a book proposal for a traditional publisher, you want them to have the best six chapters in the world! So, I realized I had shuffled my story around to put the best six chapters at the front, when in reality they belonged in the middle. I redid the story as if it were occurring in real time and added sixteen chapters. The book was completely rewritten in six weeks and I sent in the manuscript. We went through four more editorial “corrections” mainly for spelling and grammar and I authorized the final galley proof. In November, 2006 my first copy of the book arrived. I was ecstatic! The cover was awesome. But, as I read the book, I realized that somehow one of the earlier manuscripts with 25 errors in it was the one sent to the printer instead of the final edit! I was livid. But, I couldn’t prove it. They had a sheet paper saying I had approved the final edit.
With my first book, “Conquering Depression” Mark Sutton and I realized the biggest problem with publishing a book was seeing to it that everyone heard about it. We squandered our advance on advertising because our publisher was doing NOTHING to market the book! I was determined NOT to make the same mistake with this book. I did some research and hired Phenix & Phenix to be my publicity agent. They accepted me but there were some buzz words I picked up on in our conversation that troubled me. Things like, “You won’t do well in bookstores, so let’s focus on the Internet.” And, “We don’t ordinarily take a POD, but in your case the book is too good to pass up.”
This is what I learned that iUniverse neglected to tell me. Self publishers produce POD books, print on demand. You order the book. It’s printed and shipped within 24 hours. But, bookstores don’t carry PODs. Why? They can’t return them! There is no warehouse holding already printed books! You buy PODs and you’re stuck with them. Therefore, bookstores will NEVER carry a POD on their shelves. My dream began to fade and I panicked. I had made a huge mistake. But, Phenix & Phenix reassured me and we launched a two-month campaign and I sold a lot of copies for a POD. I entered my book in every contest that took independent books. I won third place! I garnered surprisingly good reviews. I was so impressed with Phenix & Phenix that I decided to use their publishing company for my second book.
BookPros was the self publishing arm of Phenix & Phenix. But, it was like night and day from iUniverse. First, they guaranteed conventional distribution. A bookstore could return your product. Why? Because the author was the publisher. This meant spending lots of money but the author had total and complete control over the product. How much money? Oh, I’d say I spent close to $30,000 on the second book. That included all the up front cost of producing the book, the print run for 2500 books, the publicity campaign and the warehousing, and a trip to Los Angeles for BEA. It gave me a whole new perspective on what a publisher invests in a book.
My second book, “The 12th Demon: Vampyre Majick” did very well. It won first place in religious fiction in the USA Book News contest. It got better reviews than the first book. And I actually recovered about half of my investment. The vice president of BookPros was very honest. He said the model he sees at his institution consisted of authors who wanted to produce their book, get a track record, and then find an agent. He said you lose money on the first book, break even on the second, and make money on the third. He was right about that first statement. As part of their service, I attended the BEA, Book Expo America, in 2008 in Los Angeles and signed over 65 books. I met other authors, including one of my favorites, Robert Crais. I met my idol Ray Bradbury. I met Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner. My favorite story is meeting Alec Baldwin and I can’t share the specifics just yet. It involves several choice curse words! And, because of my “track record” and my attendance at BEA, I asked a fellow author friend of mine for a referral to a reputable agency. The third agent I contacted, Jeff Jernigan agreed to be my agent. And, here I am three years later with a re-release of my first book and a five book contract with a major publisher.
By the way, BookPros went bankrupt in the spring of 2011. God took care of me and I was with them when I needed to be. They accomplished for me what I needed accomplished. I really miss the kind people and wonderful workers at BookPros. It was a class act operation and the writing world is poorer for its passing!
So, that is how self-publishing worked for me. It started out as a disaster, but it turned into a boon! Tomorrow – the Agents!!!!!
Book Launch Countdown! Where Did You Get the Idea?
My debut novel, “The 13th Demon: Altar of the Spiral Eye” is available this week and my launch party is Friday night, October 7th, 2011 from 6 to 8 P.M. at Brookwood Baptist Church (corner of I49 and Bert Kouns) in the Well, the coffee shop. I will be introducing the ink*well, a regional Christian artists’ community and speaking briefly on “One Book’s Journey: How to Get Published”. Those who purchase a book are entered into a drawing for one of the following: an Ipad2, a nook touch, and a Kindle WiFi. Coffee and snacks are complementary. Here is a pdf file of the flyer for the event: bruce-flyer
I often get asked, “Where do you get your ideas from?” For “The 13th Demon” I found inspiration from two ideas and two questions. One way to develop ideas for a story is to ask “What if?”
My first “What if?” question was this. What would happen to an assassin, a mercenary, a special forces individual if that person became a Christian? Could they continue in their job? How would they deal with the past? Would they be changed fundamentally or would they be compelled to continue to kill? I wasn’t sure of the answer, but the possibilities intrigued me. I filed that question and answer away for future consideration.
My second “What if?” question was this. If a person is a Christian and develops amnesia, would they still remember they are a Christian? Is the conversion experience so powerful, so complete it transcends memory loss? Or would the person “forget” they are a child of God? If they did, what does this mean, theologically? I filed that question and answer away for consideration.
Now, the third contributor to my story was not a question. It was a situation. Good ideas can come from real world situations. My church was sitting on the corner of a typical neighborhood intersection, buried away from the growing part of town in an area that was “transitioning” (whatever that means). My pastor, Mark Sutton, had felt called to our church for one reason: to move this vibrant, growing church a mile down the street to a major intersection where it would be easily accessible and very visible. However, the first and greatest obstacles were our own church members. About 25% of the membership did not want to leave the building. I was stunned. I had given money to expand this building, but it was not the church. The membership was the church. The building was just that, an inanimate object. But, some of our membership worshipped the building. It was like an idol, erected for the world to see and for some of us to worship. Their passion for staying in the building often exceeded their passion for winning others to Christ. The battle was long, brutal, and costly. But, in the end, my pastor’s vision and God’s will prevailed and we moved to the location God had first shown Mark on the day he drove through our region. And so, I wondered. What would happen if a building became an idol? What if the building was like a living, breathing creature that could be possessed by evil and thus become the beginning point for the downfall of good, unsuspecting church members? I filed that idea away for consideration.
The fourth factor in the book’s story was my growing interest in apologetics. One of my favorite authors, Michael Crichton, had written two of my favorite books, “Andromeda Strain” and “Jurassic Park”. I loved how Crichton took science, history, and philosophy and built a compelling, fast paced story around the facts. It would be much later that I realized how “facts” could be perverted to fit a story in the best seller, “The Da Vinci Code”. Crichton did not pervert the facts. He let them serve as the power behind the plot. I wanted to do this with the science, the history, the philosophy, and the facts behind my growing knowledge base in the defense of the Christian faith. That is what “apologetics” was all about. Finding the truth in the Christian world view. But, how to do this? How could I write a book around the science and the history I had learned? I filed that idea away for consideration.
I did not know it, but the stage was set for my book. After completing the manuscript for “Conquering Depression” in June, 1999, I made a deliberate decision to take six weeks off and read. I had been hired by LifeWay to write for their online “Extra” publication and I had gotten seriously behind on my reading. A good writer is also an avid reader. So, I put aside any desire to write and made the decision that by the first of August, I would have chosen which one of my many novels in various stages of development would become my first novel to complete and submit for publication. It was time for my fiction!
As the weeks passed, nothing happened. I read a lot. But, every time I looked at my novels, I felt nothing. No spark of passion. No desire to finish the story. Cold, cruel indifference. Now, I was getting worried. After all, I had been working on “Conquering Depression” for nine months and now I was writing four articles a week so my writing was disciplined and well honed. If I didn’t start on something soon, I was worried I would lose the spark!
July 31st came and now I was desperate. I had no idea what I was going to start writing on the next day. And, then, I got it. I have done this so many times. I get a good idea. I pick it up and hold it up to God and say, “Hey, God! Look at this great idea I’ve had. I’m going to do this for you and you are going to bless it! Aren’t you lucky to have me?”
Seriously, have you ever done this? I have. Many times. And, every time, my efforts end in disaster. God has to wrench the “good idea” out of my hands so He can put His “God idea” in its place. Then He says to me, “Bruce, I want to invite you to participate in the work I am doing by accomplishing this one thing. And, when you accomplish this one thing that is ideally suited to your gifts, talents, and skills, then I will bless you.” And, the wrenching part? It hurts like, well, like “hell”! In fact, it is a taste of hell for hell is ultimately all about me!
That evening, as this realization dawned on me, I was terrified. For, I realized that “Conquering Depression” might be the only book I ever write. For someone who has written since he was 8, this was a terrifying possibility. Nevertheless, I swallowed nervously and prayed the most humble prayer I could muster. “God, forgive me for being so arrogant and proud. If the depression book is the only book I ever write for you, then I accept that. If I never write another book, I accept that. I want to do your will. I give my writing over to you completely. It is yours. Show me what I should do.” And, with tears in my eyes, I climbed into bed and slipped into a troubled sleep.
At 4 A. M. I awoke, sat bolt upright in the bed and realized the entire story of what would become “The 13th Demon” was in my head. It was there like a hurricane developing over the gulf, ill defined but recognizable. The pastor and his church possessed by an evil presence. The mysterious man with amnesia, bent on revenge as the pastor’s only hope. And, a community on the brink of disaster. It was all there. I started writing immediately and by noon had written sixteen chapters. It was the first of August, my deadline and by the 30th, I had completed the rough draft of “The 13th Demon”. God had answered my prayer with a story I had never contemplated; a genre I had never considered; and a book series that would occupy the next two decades of my life.
The title came later out of the blue just as some of the characters surfaced while I was free writing the story. During my research, amazing things happened that I could only call miraculous. But, it would prove almost impossible to sell the idea. For you see, in 1999 the world of Christian publishing was not ready for a Christian “thriller” or “science fiction” or “horror” novel. I was turned down by the best. And, every time the reason was not because of the poor quality of the writing. I was turned down because the story was too edgy, too violent, too harsh. I had one editor from a major Christian publisher tell me she loved the manuscript but that “No one in the CBA will ever publish your book.” She would prove to be right and it would be seven years before “The 13th Demon” appeared in public. That story I will talk about tomorrow!
Book Launch October 7th!
Click on this link and you can view the flyer for the book launch.
I’m giving away an iPad2, a nook, and a Kindle so check it out and be there:
The Book is Here!!!
“A gripping look into the supernatural. Bruce Hennigan will keep you turning pages — each one a little scarier than the last.”
Mike Yorkey, coauthor of Chasing Mona Lisa and the Every Man’s Battle series.
There is no feeling in the world like finding that awful, yellow orange envelope on the table and then realizing it is from your publisher, and yes, then seeing that it is just the right size for a book, and yes, yes, opening it to find — TA DA! — the very first brand spanking new copy of your debut novel!!!!!
I am holding the first advance copy of “The 13th Demon: Altar of the Spiral Eye”. The quote above is on the top of the very back of the novel!! And, it has my NAME on it! I’m the AUTHOR!!!
Okay, slow your breathing! Calm down! Change your underwear!
Sorry, TMI.
It’s official. The book is here. So, plan on being at Brookwood Baptist Church in the Well, the coffee/book shop on October 7th at 6 PM to 8 PM. Buy a copy of my book and you will be entered into a drawing for one of the following: a 32GB iPad2, a Nook Touch, or a Kindle WiFi. The only catch is you have to purchase a book to enter the drawing and you have to be present at the drawing to be eligible for one of the three prizes.
I’ll be talking very briefly on “One Book’s Journey: How To Get Published” and answering some questions before the official book signing. I’m hoping local Christian artists will show up and become a member of a new local Christian artist community, the ink*well. So come out to Brookwood Baptist Church, corner of I49 and Bert Kouns, Friday, October 7th at 6 PM and have snacks and coffee and cold smoothies and celebrate the release of my debut novel!
Now, excuse me while I continue to pinch myself!!!
I Want to Meet YOU at a Book Signing!
Book Signings.
Are they a thing of the past?
With all the emphasis on ebooks, one would think no one goes to a book store anymore.
Check out my take on that on my recent blog post over on Just the Write Charisma author blog.
Now, here’s the deal. I want to do book signings. My book comes out in October and I am planning a three week book tour. So, I want to come to a store in YOUR area. But, I need help and I need it FAST.
If you would like to get a signed copy of my new book, “The 13th Demon: Altar of the Spiral Eye” go to your nearest bookstore and give them this webpage address (www.brucehennigan.com) and tell them you want me to come and do a book signing.
Why?
Because I will do MORE than just sign books:
- I will talk, at the book store’s request, on How To Get Published.
- I can talk, at the book store’s request, on God Versus Science: The Playing Field Today
- I can talk, at the book store’s request, on Powers of Darkness: Are Demons Real?
- I can talk, at the book store’s request, on Publishing Today: Traditional, Self Publishing, or Ebooks. What is right for you?
- I can read excerpts from my book.
- I will bring lots of tiny, fun giveaways.
- I am a people person and I want to meet YOU.
So, I need YOUR Help. Call, email, visit your local bookstore TODAY and ask them to contact me for a possible book signing. I want to meet YOU.
The Real World — A short, short story
I’ve tried to post this story on Storypraxis twice now with two different prompts and for some reason it won’t go through. I’m not sure why. Maybe it is too long. Maybe the editors don’t like it. But, I like it a lot and I want to share it with you. I used two prompts: real world and palisade. See what you think:
The Real World
By Bruce Hennigan
Something had just jerked my cork under the water and the fishing line had gone taut when the bushes rustled behind me. I glanced over my shoulder recalling that one time old Norman had claimed he had a black bear in one of his pine trees. The pole jerked in my grip and I stood up, torn between finally catching Old Jackson, as they called him and being wary of whatever was creeping up on me from the bushes. I knew the fence of wooden slats would protect me from the dangers of the world. But, a bear would be so much larger than my palisade.
The rustling sound stopped and I decided to tempt fate and try and land Old Jackson. They say he was the largest catfish in Twelve Mile Bayou. My uncle said he almost landed him once about fifteen years ago and when he rolled out of the water for a second, Uncle Foots said he must have weighed fifty pounds! My pole bowed under the tension of the struggling fish and I smiled. It had to be Old Jackson! Be careful, now, I told myself. Give him some slack and let the line out and . . .
“You catching Old Jackson?”
I flinched and the pole jerked out of my hand and sailed across the water and disappeared from sight. I cursed and whirled, fists raised to face the person who had interrupted my perfect day of fishing. It wasn’t a black bear that had come out of the blueberry bushes. It was a tall, young man with a shock of blonde hair and striking green eyes who had stepped nimbly over the fence and invaded my solitude. He was wearing a faded pair of jeans and a pale, blue tee shirt. He smiled at me as my mouth fell open.
“Hey, Dad. Sorry about the fishing pole. Didn’t mean to scare you.” His eyes flashed in the sunlight off of the bayou.
I dropped my fists and just looked at him. It had been so long. In fact, I could hardly remember what he looked like the last time I had seen him. Seemed there had been a cut on his head? I blinked and reached over and pulled him to me.
“Justin! What are you doing here?” I held him close and inhaled the fragrance of his mom’s fabric softener on his shirt. He still wore that cheap after shave. I pushed him away and frowned. “How did you find me?”
Justin laughed and rubbed his chin. “You brought me here when I was six. Remember. We put the boat in right over there.” He pointed to a boat launch cut into the red clay of the bank of the bayou. “You took me out fishing and I found a plug in the bottom of the back of the boat. Remember?”
I swallowed and looked away from the boat launch. “Yeah, how could I forget. You pulled the plug and the boat started sinking.”
He slapped my shoulder. He was strong. “Yeah, Dad. I kept telling you, ‘The boat is sinking!’ and you couldn’t hear me over the boat motor. And, I kept screaming and screaming until you cut the motor and then you could hear me from here to Blanchard!”
I smiled at the memory. It was a warm, comfortable sensation in the back of my head. I nodded. “I remember. It took us forever to get the plug back in and then I had to bail out the water. . .”
“And, we never caught any fish.” He chuckled and I saw something red and moist drip from his lip. I blinked and it disappeared. My heart was racing. I didn’t know why.
“Son, why are you here?”
His clear, green eyes flashed in the sunlight and he frowned. “I came to get you, Dad. You need to come back.”
I glanced over his shoulder at the wooden fence and shook my head. “I’m not coming back! No, sir! Not coming!” I backed away from him and felt nauseous. I turned my gaze out over the bayou. Old Jackson rolled out of the water near the far shore. He must have weighed one hundred pounds. My fishing line was wrapped all around his body. I shivered. “Go away.”
“Dad, I just got here.” I felt his hand on my shoulder.
“You can’t be real. The dead don’t rise.” I muttered.
“I’m not dead, Dad. I’m alive.” He said so close to my ear. I closed my eyes. This couldn’t be real.
“Go back on the other side of the fence. Go away.”
“I won’t.”
“What is there to come back for? You’re gone. Mom just cries and sulks. The house is a tomb. Your ashes are right at home on the mantle.” I watched Old Jackson roll one last time and sink into the bayou. The waters grew red with his blood.
“Dad, I’m here because the Lord let me come. You can’t stay here. It’s not what I fought for and not what I died for.” Justin was so close to my ear. I closed my eyes and shook my head.
“No! You’re not real. This is real. This bayou. This place. That fence.” I felt the tears fill my closed eyes. Justin put his hands on my arms. His grip was strong. Powerful. Like the last time I had taken his hand in mine. Like the last time I had . . .
“You were angry with me when I left. You called me a coward.” He whispered.
“I know.” I sobbed. “I was wrong. You are brave. You are not a coward.”
“I died for what I believed in, Dad. I chose to go. You have to accept that. I was a man. Now, I’m far more than that. You still have a lot of living to do. You still have Ceilly and Robert. They need their mom and dad. You need to come back. Please, Dad. Come back!” His grip loosened and I fell backward in the sudden release expecting to feel the hard earth and I felt, instead, the loops of fishing line all around me, closing down my arms and my legs and I couldn’t breath and I saw Old Jackson’s eyes flash in the sunlight white and dead as he rolled and rolled and I fought the pain and the grief and the loss and the fishing line until it broke in shuddering relief and I was free.
I sat up and opened my eyes. My wife looked up from her book, her figure slumped in the chair and she gasped. She hurried over to my hospital bed and touched my face.
“Welcome back, honey.”
Who is Jonathan Steel?
I ran across this blog post and he said I could post it. He doesn’t want anyone to know the main site, yet. He’s a bit skittish but I thought I would put at least his first post up so you can read it. Here it is:
My psychiatrist once told me to write down my thoughts. I miss her.
My thoughts aren’t exactly the kind of things I like to talk about. They scare me. I think they would scare you. I’m here at the beach house. It’s mine, now, not that I wanted it to begin with. But, a promise is a promise. I always keep my promises. At least, I think I do. My memories only go back a couple of years.
I’ve been searching for months now. I’ve had a few close calls. Almost seemed like it, he would be there. But, the evil I’ve encountered was from something else. The one I’m looking for just seems to be eluding me. As if he knows I’m after him. As if IT knows I’m after it. What do you call it? A he? An it? Not sure. Doesn’t matter. I know the number, that is all I have to go on. And, I know the sign, the symbol. It will screw up sooner or later and leave the symbol behind. Then, I’ll know it was there. Then, I’ll have a trail to follow.
And, when I find it, I will destroy it!
What is your God like?
I can’t help but wonder . . . perhaps no new C. S. Lewis has surfaced in the past fifty years for the very reason that so few writers are starting with the known and speculating from there.
Rebecca LuElla Miller
In the past few days, I have been following two posts: one at www.mikeduran.com about “glorifying God” in our writing. And, then at www.speculativefaith.com a post about how we portray God in our writing. Both of these posts are pale mirror images of each other for they reflect our imperfect human concept of Truth and God.
As a Christian, I believe my job is to do all to further the kingdom of God. If that is glorifying God, then sobeit. Several of the comments in both posts were disturbing to me. One commenter said the God of the Old Testament commanded us to bash babies heads in. I was appalled. Did I get this wrong? Have I read the Bible and missed that portrayal of God? I don’t think so.
So, this brings up a really good point. We all see God through the lens of our experiences of God. God reveals himself in two ways. He reveals himself through his creation as Paul talked about in Romans 1. But, God has also revealed himself through the scriptures and ultimately, through the incarnation. If our experience of God is more “natural” we may be in danger of worshipping the creation; of making the earth and nature into a demigod. If our experience of God is only from the Old Testament, we may draw the conclusion, right or wrong that God is a hideous monster filled only with jealousy and wrath.
If we experience God only through Jesus, we miss out on the mystery and majesty of the trinity. We must synthesize and merge all concepts of God into our experience.
In our postmodern culture, truth is relative and as a Christian writer, I might find myself asking the question “Can truth be known?” This question implies there may not be such a thing as absolute truth. However, in light of the revealed God in scripture and in nature, truth exists. Jesus said “I am the way, the truth, and the life. And, no one comes to the Father except through me.” That statement is pretty absolute. There doesn’t seem to be any wiggle room. So, if we have truly experienced the God of the Bible, then as writers and Christians we do not ask a question. We make a statement with our writing and our lives. “Truth can be known.”
I was reading these comments in both of these posts because I wanted to be encouraged. Instead I was greatly distressed and depressed. A standard of communication and writing was established. The standard raised here is one I don’t believe anyone writing today can ever meet. Perhaps it is because we are so steeped in postmodernism that we cannot connect with that foundation of reality that drove Lewis and Tolkien and the other excellent authors of the past century mentioned in these comments.
But, we must TRY. Our culture is increasingly post-Christian and we as Christian authors have the onerous duty of trying to reveal truth to a godless, truthless society. It is hard enough to try and meet the standards of these authors. We will fail. But, we must try. We must strive for excellence and quality. And, we must know the God of the scriptures. We will never agree on our knowledge of God for each of us experiences God in unique ways. But, we can respect the Word of God as the revealed Truth as best as any man or woman could have written it.
I just finished Paul Copan’s book “Is God a Moral Monster?” and listened to an excellent podcast, “Straight Thinking” over on reasons.org featuring an interview with Copans. He made the point that much of the depiction of the God of the Old Testament (who commands us to bash in babies’ heads????) is linked to the literary style of writing at the time. Ah, the literary style?
So, even our Old Testament is subject to the same problems we are talking about in these comments. It is written by man, inspired by God, and we must filter the “knowledge” of the authors through their cultural and geopolitical situation at the time of the writing and take the “monstrous” God of the Old Testament with a grain of salt.
I would rather remember the passage where Moses pleaded with God to show Himself. Here, in Walter Wangerin, Jr.’s “The Book of God” is one human’s interpretation of that scripture:
Now, Moses closed his mouth and lowered his hands and turned his face aside. His hair was like smoke. His brow concealed a difficult thought.
Finally, he whispered, “I pray you, O Lord, show me your glory.”
Straightway the wind died. The yellow air stood still. The mountain hushed, as between the heaves of storm.
All at once the Lord God lifted his prophet bodily and set him down in the cleft of the rock. He covered Moses with his hand — that he might not, by the direct sight of the Holy God, die. Then the glory of the Lord began to pass that crack in the mountain, crying, “The Lord! The Lord!”
Only when he was going away did God remove his hand, and Moses saw the back of him.
But while it went, his glory proclaimed: The Lord, merciful, gracious, slow to anger — a God abounding in love. Forgiving iniquity, blotting out sin, but by no means clearing the guilty —
And Moses, as soon as he saw such majesty, bowed his head and worshiped.
Moses started from the “known”, he saw the back of our God and he wrote about his experience. This is the God I know. This is the God I worship. This is the God I write about!
God’s Triumph — Depression, Part 3
I started writing when I was thirteen. My eighth grade teacher inspired me to work on “creative writing”. I wrote some very bad science fiction stories even though at the time I thought they were very good. Why did I write? What compelled me to sit before a typewriter or a blank piece of paper and put down some story that was trying to burst out of my skull?
Why do we as authors write? Is it for fame? Money? Self advancement? Therapy? Maybe some of you are like me, a person who “can’t NOT write”. I guess in those early days of writing, I was inspired by my science fiction icons such as Ray Bradbury, Isaac Asimov, Larry Niven, Robert Heinlein, Arthur C. Clarke, Frederick Pohl, Richard Matheson, and I could go on and on. I wanted to see my name on the spine of one of those books. I wanted to know that somewhere in a cool, dark bedroom a boy or girl was hiding under the covers with a flashlight reading MY book! Maybe I was tapping into a need for fame and glory. Maybe I wanted my name to live on after me although at the age of 13, I was pretty certain I was immortal!
Years later, as I became a drama director, I began to write dramas for the purpose of reaching people for Christ. I felt it was a calling. I wanted to write for God and I certainly never imagined making money off of these dramas (they were never published) or becoming famous (how many famous Christian playwrights can you name?). I never imagined that getting involved in writing dramas and producing dramas would be a major contributor to my coming depression.
As I mentioned in my last post, writing a book on depression was never on my list. In fact, so much of what I have done in life was never on my list. But, it was on God’s! God uses people for His purposes. He uses our failures and our successes. He uses our pains and our triumphs. I recall the first day our book, “Conquering Depression: A 30 Day Plan to Finding Happiness” appeared at our local Barnes & Noble for our book signing. It was the first time I had held the actual book in my hands. It was the first time I had seen the cover. Mark Sutton and I sat behind a table and we signed books. Over and over and over. People were not there because of us. They were there because they needed help with depression. I was stunned. I was shocked. Something I suffered through could help others? Here are just a few of the testimonials to our book. I list them not because I want to promote the book. As I mentioned, Mark and I have made very little money off of our book. The payment for us has been to know what we suffered through has helped others overcome their depression. We get monthly emails from readers who make the claim our book “saved my life”. People who were contemplating suicide, who had given up, who had no hope. Now, that alone is reason enough to write a book. I will never see my name in lights or win any awards for my writing or know that somewhen a hundred years from now my books will be required reading, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has used my life experience to touch someone and give them hope. And, that is worth it all!
Here are some testimonials:
I’ve been reading Conquering Depression: A 30-Day Plan to Finding Happiness for just over two weeks now. I don’t know what exactly to say to both of you other than, “Thank You” for giving me my life back. I realize that God is Great Physician is all of this; however, you were His mouthpieces. I really appreciate that.
***
Please excuse the first-name basis, but I feel like I know you both. I first encountered your book back in 2002 when my daughter was a junior at Hope College in Michigan and she experienced yet another bout of depression — this one being her worst yet. I received an e-mail from her that actually made me fear for her life. I called work, told them I wouldn’t be there in the morning, threw some items in a bag and immediately made the 3-hour drive from our home to her college. When she returned from class and found me in her dorm room, she crumbled in my arms and sobbed. The lost and terrified look on her face said it all. The depression had her cornered and she was fighting for her life.
I spent the next 2 days with her every minute except when she was in a class. Then I brought her home for a few days. My husband and I prayed with her and for her. I quoted scriptures to her and insisted she speak them out loud. I repeated the same truths over and over and over to her because the depression would steal the truth away from her mind almost as quickly as I could say it. I read scripture to her. I sat with her while she fell asleep and I made sure I was there speaking truth to her when she woke up. I fought like a mother bear for my cub. Depression (Satan) was not going to snatch my child.
Somewhere in that time, I ran across your book. It was a God-send. Although she didn’t have the strength or concentration to read it at the time, I read it to her and for her. I used the Life Filters with her. She learned to stand in front of the mirror and quote them as she looked herself in the eye. Of course, somewhere in all this we got her to a counselor and on some medication. In time she healed. But she did more than that. My daughter has become a champion for overcoming depression. She was a favored speaker at the most recent depression support group I ran at our church. Her testimony of God’s truth and power in her life is something really special. She is an overcomer in the true sense of the word. I’ve always loved the passage in Romans 8 that says we are “”more than overcomers. I always thought, “Well, I know what an overcomer is, but what is ‘more than an overcomer’?” I’ll tell you, it’s my daughter. She didn’t just fight and persevere until she was no longer depressed; she fought and persevered until she had a testimony of God’s power, grace and healing in her life. AND…your book was a big part of that.
***
I’m 24 years old and I have battled depression my whole life (as has my mom), but have not had this realization until about 2 months ago, when all broke loose and I was forced to face the reality, the battle, the heartache, and the beginning of healing. I have been visiting The Well at Brookwood for a few months, and have had the pleasure of experiencing refuge, community, joy, and most recently–the finding of “Conquering Depression”. I thought it was just another one of the coffeeshop books (at the time, I had no idea that you were the pastor there AND the author!) and was too afraid to browse through it for long, much less purchase it from one of the super-friendly baristas. So, I waited. I waited about another week, and then was searching again through Lifeway for SOME sort of help, release, direction out of the pit I’d found myself in. So, I searched through all the books and there on the bottom shelf screaming my name was your book again. So, I bought it. (Mind you, combined with a little journal, two cd’s and another book–I was too afraid to admit that’s all I needed…surely it was convincing that it was for a friend…right? 🙂 ) I cannot tell you the healing it has brought just within the first several pages. My eyes, heart, mind, no, my very soul have been opened up to the “blessing” that is depression–and that’s where I’ve come to turn to you.
***
As one who has suffered from clinical depression for many years I was skeptical about this “30 day plan” approach but after reading this book I am skeptical no more. Written by a medical doctor and a pastor, this is not a “pray it away” approach but rather a multidisciplinary approach that gives information from a medical and spiritual perspective as well as recommendations for treatment and tools to use on a day to day basis. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who lives with depression or even thinks they might have it.
***
First I’d like to say that if I could give more than 5 stars, I would for this book. This book is a wonderful book on how to conquer depression, an illness that has plagued me for over 9 years. It is written by two professionals who both are strong Christians and both have suffered from depression which makes you know they understand what you are going through and there is hope. I also appreciated the fact that I didn’t have to sift through what I felt was Scriptural and what I felt wasn’t as this book is very Biblically based and glorifies God throughout the whole book. If you are suffering, have suffered, or know someone who is suffering from Depression please purchase this book for them. I only wish I had found it years ago when I went through my first major depression.
My Darkness, His Light — Depression, Part 2
My counselor was a disturbingly chipper man with bright, blue eyes and a smile. I did not want a smile. I did not want chipper. I did not know what I wanted!
He led me up the stairs to a room on the second floor of the counseling center and invited me to sit in a chair. Then, he asked me why I was there. So, I told him. I was depressed. And, before I knew it, I was telling this total stranger everything. It just poured out of me, venom and pain and tears and all. Do you know how easy it is to just dump all of your emotions on a total stranger? Very easy! Poor guy! I started feeling sorry for him. Because as I dumped, I felt better! Maybe this thing could work. Problem was, as I was dumping, there was nothing filling up the ensuing emptiness!
He asked me a simple question, “What is the lie?”
I sat there floored. You mean I had been living a lie? No, not living a lie. I had been deceived by a lie. Not just one, but many of them. In the weeks that followed, we dissected each lie and replaced it with the truth. And, here is the most important point to take home. Who is the father of lies? Satan. Who wants to destroy me? Satan.
And so I began the long road to recovery. As I mentioned last post, I developed a tool called the LifeFilter. For me, the biggest problem was in saying “yes” to every oppotunity around me. I did not know how to say “no”. In fact, if I said “no” then someone would possible not LIKE me! I might DISAPPOINT them. And then, I might make them MAD and so on and so on. Not only that, they might not let me RESCUE them. Boy, was I screwed up! I had to learn how to say “no”.
One day, I was watching the pool guys clean out my pool filter. The filter had layers of material starting with large pebbles and decreasing in size. Each level of the filter was finer and more discriminating and caught smaller and smaller particles until the water was pure.
I came up with my own filters — questions I would ask myself beginning with the largest “pebble” and moving to the most “discriminating” level. If the request someone made of me passed through all five questions, then I would say “yes”. The first time my pastor asked me to do something, I pulled out a business card sized laminated piece of cardboard and starting reading the questions. I looked up at him and this is what I said, “Right now, I would have to say ‘no’. But, if you would allow me to pray about this for a few days and talk to my wife and family, I might change my mind.” Mark’s mouth fell open. His eyes widened. “You never tell me ‘no’!”
I shrugged. “From now on, I have no choice. If you want a quick answer it will always be no.”
And so, a few months later, we sat at lunch contemplating writing a book on depression. As I mentioned, we would emphasize the nature of depression as an ILLNESS, not a lack of faith.
After arriving at the 30 day format, we outlined the book and began working on a book proposal. We thought if we could nail down the first week, we could begin contacting a publisher. At this point, Mark had one book published and I had my collection of children’s plays. So, technically we were published authors. But, we did not have an agent. We did not have a working relationship with a good publisher. We were shooting in the dark!
By that summer, we had the outline for the book worked out and started writing on the first week. I remember sitting at my dining room table on Halloween working on my part of week one while handing out candy to trick or treaters. By the first week of November, we had our book proposal. Now what?
Mark had an inspiration. Five years before, we had both attended a writer’s conference in New Orleans. It was the third year in a row we had gone to this conference and we had met some editors. One editor, Len Goss, had almost accepted one of my manuscripts for a book. But, it had died in committee. See why I hate committees?
Mark had made a commitment to put on a marriage seminar in Nashville, Tennessee the third week in November. And, he had learned that Len Goss had become the chief acquisition editor for Broadman & Holman headquartered in Nashville. I was also off the week before the seminar so Mark contacted Len and asked if we could have lunch with him. No mention of the book, just lunch. Len agreed and so we flew up to Nashville.
I had insisted on putting the book proposal in a clear plastic folder so the title would be visible, a trick I had read about on the internet. We met Len for lunch and went to a restaurant with a buffet. Mark and I had worked out our strategy on presenting the book because Len was unaware of this real reason for our visit. Mostly, this meant for me to let Mark do the talking.
We got in line at the buffet and Len reached our table first. I had placed the book proposal on the table. I followed and sat down, keeping my mouth firmly closed awaiting Mark’s arrival from getting his food. Len picked up the folder. My heart raced and I almost threw up. He looked at the title through the clear plastic.
“What is this?” he asked.
“A book proposal. Mark and I want to write a book on depression. He’ll do the spiritual part and I’ll cover the medical.” I managed to say with a very dry mouth and thick tongue.
Len was quiet as he studied the folder. He gently placed it on the table and frowned. “Someone I care deeply about has been fighting depression. Did you know there are no good books out there on depression for Christians? They all just seem to say ‘have more faith’. I think we’ll take the book.” He started eating.
Mark arrived and sat down and started into his presentation and I kept trying to interrupt. Finally, Mark looked at me and I said, “Len said he wants the book.”
Now, it wasn’t that easy from that point on. We had to go before the committee. We had to fight for the inclusion of our LifeFilters as tear out cards in the back of the book and this was almost a deal breaker. But, finally, two years after that meeting, “Conquering Depression: A Thirty Day Plan to Finding Happiness” hit the bookshelves. And, although it has never been a best seller, it has been as “consistent back list seller”. Most importantly, although Mark and I have made very little off the book in the last ten years, it has been amazing how many lives the book has saved.
Yes, I said how many lives the book has saved!
You see, as dark and constricting and suffocating and horrendously painful my depression was; as hard as it is to keep it at bay; as hard as it has been to fight to keep the book going; I never imagined God would use my pain and suffering to help others, much less save their lives. In my darkness, God showed His light! Now, I can truly praise God for my depression. For, it made me stronger and deepened my faith and brought me closer to my Savior. And, through my travails, God has used those pains and sufferings to help others.
In the third post, I’ll share some of the stories of those who were helped by this book. Check out our website at www.conqueringdepression.com .
Bruce Hennigan 
You must be logged in to post a comment.