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I just put the finishing touches on the final edit for my next book due in October, “The 12th Demon: Vampire Majick” but the vampires in my book are NOTHING like the vampire in “Night of the Living Dead Christian” by Matt Mikalatos. I really enjoyed reading Matt’s fantastic “Imaginary Jesus” now renamed “My Imaginary Jesus” I guess to emphasize the difference between an imaginary Jesus and Matt’s psychologically challenged perception of “his” imaginary Jesus. I think it is much ado about nothing. But, these subtleties are important to someone in the publishing industry. And that is why I was so surprised to see this book with this intriguing title.

I mean to imply that most people who call themselves Christians are dead is pretty risky. Would you buy the book if you thought it implied that you were a zombie? I mean I KNOW I’m not a zombie. I don’t brainlessly follow the pastor of my church. I don’t eat brains, either, for that matter. I detest “sweetbreads” as they are sometimes called. But, I must admit after reading “Night of the Living Dead Christian” there may be a little bit of zombie in me. And, a little bit of vampire. And, a little bit of werewolf.

And, that is the point of the book. Matt Mikalatos brilliantly takes these archetypes and projects them on the sad, lacking, failing Christian that typifies most, if not all of US! Mad scientists, androids, monster killers, vampires, zombies, and werewolves roam the pages of this book with abandon. With glee. With bloodthirsty zeal!

Zombies. They mindlessly track you down, slowly, inexorably until they overpower you and put earphones in your ears and a study Bible in your hands and pull you into the praise and worship service to listen catatonically to the pastor. This is an eerie depiction of mindless drones following and NOT thinking. As an apologist, I champion the thinking Christian and this comparison to a zombie is right on target. I was finishing up this book Sunday morning in our church’s coffee shop and I looked up and right there, not twenty feet away from me were at least a dozen zombies all dressed alike, all moving alike, all funneling into the sanctuary in their identical dresses and suits and . . . Need I say more? Zombies are the undead; the walking dead; the praying dead; the tithing dead; the dead dead! Read the book to see where these zombies came from and how they came to be.

Vampires. Wow, the violence depicted in the transformation of this woman into a “vampire” was shocking and out of the blue. But, it happens. It happens a lot and more than we in our churches want to acknowledge. The vampire sucks the life out of someone until that someone can’t exist unless they suck the life out of someone else. I can tell you that I’ve met my share of “emotional black holes” in the life of a church. These people are so needy and so smothering and a “good” Christian is going to try and help and end up getting their life sucked right out of them. This happened to me in 1995. After four years of running a drama ministry, I “died” and became a vampire sucking the life out of everything I touched until God drove a stake through my heart, laid me on my back and offered me a new life. Wow! Great comparison, Matt.

Werewolves. This is the heart of this book, a magnificent portrayal of the angry, restless beast that most of us try to keep at bay. My favorite parts of the book are the internal musings of the werewolf. Here is what he says in his moment of greatest despair:

“And here is the final evidence that we have invented God for ourselves. Who could love us other than we ourselves? No one. We have invented a being to love us despite our depravities.”

And, the “death” of the werewolf is one of the most moving scenes I’ve read in months. Don’t miss this book. It is strange; it is hilarious; but it is ultimately right on the money. Matt Mikalatos includes many facts and concepts bolstered by recent studies that should terrify the most stalwart Christian. Take a look in the mirror after you finish this book. You will be terrified by what you see!